Say Hi to Oblivion

im scared to say that i have too started falling into the blackness of Ana. im kind of scared, i always always think about my father, ALWAYS. and hes the type of dad that says theres nothing wrong with being fat.. theres really not, except that im so so so so sooo scared that if i get any fatter im gonna turn into one of those fat obese people, and i cold not live like that ! could i really live half starving myself? my depression wont let up. Ana wont let up. i dont want to eat, i think its good to feel hunger pangs, that way, i know that theres no food in there that my body will hang onto. it'll eat the fatty fat - still 145, gonna fast the rest of today till dinner.  my stomach is starting to hurt.... hunger pangs again. hope i wont give in