im not getting too much into it really, but i went from 128 to 131, but trust me. it will be gone IT WILL BE. AnnaBeth doesnt talk to me any more. she dont even yell. its all me, i know that but i need someone in this mess so why not make up a voice that'll probably drive me more crazy then i already am. i told mike about it, that if i lost less then 120 to make sure i keep eating. if i try to skip dinner or hide correct me. i really dont have the money to have this. i really dont... but here i am. wrapped up with food, how much, how litle, how long.. how much HOW MUCH... how much will i gain? ill look FAT! i dont want FOOD. mother fucker. so i ate like a big yesturday, so im not today. ill have dinner, i dont know what yet but im not having much. then, i wish i could get someone to do a stupid 24 hour fast. i need someone to get me to think of something different at night when i want to eat. its fucking SAD. I HATE THIS.
which brings me back to 'promotional anorexia' who the FUCK promotes it?? goddess ana? get fucking real kids. GROW UP. you'll lose everything. EVERYTHING. your hair, your teeth, your muscles, work out or not when your body starves you lose muscle. your heart shrinks, your brain shrinks, it ruins your kidneys,liver, EVERYTHING. your body will eventually just.. stop.
dont ask yourself why i do it. i dont promote this shit, on myself nor anyone else. NOBODY we've had little 13-17 year olds come in babyfats chat and they go "i want to starve can someone help me?" REALLY!? help you? when we all suffer in that chat room. we dont promote, we support, we try to help others get better, feel better about weighing a healthy weight even though it feels SO wrong. SO DIRTY.. so fat! but thats what we're there for. to help them think different, no matter how hard it is. if your looking for a promotional anorexia site, i advise you to seek medical attention, or just go live your sad life somewhere else.
i guess that one did go on LOL.
good night oblivion.. HELLO HELL!
~ninedieingsouls
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