everythings broken!

im not going to be long, i just want to give everyone an update.....
plus, i really need to vent, all the things i have in my head i cant/don't tell EVERYONE EVERYTHING in recent years I've learned that but i have a hard time lying..always been my fault..everyone lies, everyone.. i mean i do, i just have a hard time with it, it keeps me up at night, it bothers me.

recently my sister got out of jail. in the last 4-6 months give or take some, shes been my worst enemy yet my best friend. we know what each other has gone through - we don't lie to each other.. i thought i had that with my other sister but i don't. she a fuckin liar...i mean she probably does lie but i LIKE to think she doesnt from me, it seems shes been very honest with me lately. i didn't know they were shooting up again. lo and behold, they were.. i even found a tourniquet in her room. i wonder if they were sharing.. it was double sided.. wow!!! i just feel like screaming!!

so i got my one sister bitching at me about everyone and every thing, then my other sister doing the same thing. THEN we got dad bitching about my sisters (and probably me) THEN i got his GF (down right bitch!..) well don't even get me started on her. she causes most the problems that's going on right now.

SO I GOT ALL THIS ANNNDDD... i lose food stamps. i and my daughter lose insurance, my boyfriend never had any. we lost all that because "he makes too much"

he got promotions. he should be up to 12 an hr in the next week and a half, which is good. i havent looked into any other insurance yet... i know where i have to call and what i have to do but im just too anxious. my anxiety has taken over, all my bad experiences are beating me down, and they're winning. anything that goes bad, i drink, smoke, starve, whatever to get away from my feelings. i dont leave the house. ive been trying, maybe not hard enough...