FUCK! im so weak

I cant even starve myself right. i BINGED again tonight, chocolate, doughnuts, nuts, chips, crackers, a little bit of everything. stomach is loving it, im guilting it. tommarow, in the 50, chance of rain  SEVENTY PERCENT fucking RAIN ! i think im going to any way. put a coat on and walk in the rain. im tired of sitting here and im getting too anxious to walk on an empty stomach. AnaBeth Bless My Weak and fucking pathetic soul. Even though i dont want to listen to you and you definatly dont want to listen to my fat ass. i must feed you, give me your starving strength and make the stomach pangs go away. i could care less about MY happiness. i havent been TRUELY happy with myself sinnce i was a CHILD. i just didnt listen to HER then. with clothes on the scale says ONE FORTY SIX.. without clothes is says 143, i fucking hate it. im one FOURTY NOW i gained three pounds, one pound a night .. from binge eating. i shouldnt have gotten chocolate nor the junk food. its always my weakness. i love fruits just as much but chocolate...i want to eat it all now just so i cant look at it and know it'll be there tommarow. three sqaures left, over 150 cals right there. maybe ill save them for when i finally do get MY chance to STARVE for 3 days or a week. i need and DESERVE it for being such a fat failure

SAY HI TO OBLIVION