i cant believe i just woofed down two mc donalds. still one thirty nine. not too bad right? i ate (of course) lastnight, not too much but enough. some bread and a doughnut. i wasnt going to but i was talking to someone and it encouraged me to. today i had a little salami a peice of cheese and some shrimp... so i couldnt have gained two pounds, cuz ill tell ya, if i did, i would be over 140 again, 142 with clothes on it bugged me so bad i got naked to weigh myself, 139..... sooo i got fucking drunk lastnight im not drinking tonight, nor eating. here we go again with the 24 hour bullshit. i wish i could get away with skipping dinner or purging it.
the two times i had gotten a flu bug i was so sick so much it gave me acid reflux. i get heart burn from most juices, tomato sauce, greasy stuff, mcdonalds, gatorade lots of stuff really gives me heart burn of the century. so to purge? i know if i did it once, i wouldnt beable to control it. i'd get heart burn even worse. and with all the partying i did when i was younger, i dont think my body could handle it. all the puking and purging. my 'distorted' body image would fucked up even more i'd be compelled to work out, count calories and weigh myself more. I dont have time to be 'sick' like that, i have a life to take care of not ruin.
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