another pound

another pound fretted
another pound gained
another day of starvation
that pound is now gone.

and if i starve to death
please dont cry for me
I didnt die happy
but i died the way i  wanted to be.
A very thin me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I & (ana)[beth]

I have dissolved myself into paper.
I am Channelled to my weight.
I eat what i want and eat very little.
I listen to AnnaBethany
but she mostly ignores me
The only ones i think about are my lovely family.

I try to think of God,
I try to talk and listen,
but all I Hear Is silence, it makes me feel so alone.

Think about it for a second,
millions and millons of things
a word into another
like I and AnnaBethany.
~~~~
AnnaBethany In the Blue Dress
You are not my goddess but a Disease.
you are not my friend but a voice
you are nothing to me but thinness.
~~~~
Fast Days Slow Nights

days go by fast when all you think about is food.
to be exact, what your going to eat. when, how much,
the last time your going to eat.
How you can get away with sneaking, hiding, throwing it away,
over eating under eating. Maybe a good Binge and purge.
It just comes down to 'food'
why, where, when, and how much.
When you'll go hungry again
when no one will notice
when you can binge, purge, starve.
Why arent you happy yet
why gain it all back?
why are you still FAT when everyone says your too thin.
Why.. Believe?
how much can you get away with?
how long can you starve? how much can you push yourself
how long before you... Die..
Nights are too Slow.
all you feel is pain. not just in your stomach
in your bones, muscles, even your brain.
all you do is toss and turn
waiting for the sun again.
waiting to get back on schedual.
Waiting to.... Die.