movies.

its funny how Ana(beth) has me looking at the bones, the thiness of every women i see. Comparing. im starting to like the look of my bones. though i try not to pay attention. i pinch my skin and my fat to feel them. it feels good, their solid, hard, unlike me who is soft but no more alive and vibrant.

after i ate i was 138, still, maybe i hadnt aten all day and barley the night before. i cant any more i know what it does, i know the consiquences of starving then eating far too much, even when you dont have to. its going on 10pm. and i still havent aten, of course im drinking which is more of a compulsion now then a ' fun' thing to do. my dolly has a hold of me, my AnnaBethany.