how come i dread something so much but wind up eating it anyway? too ashamed to say anything or hide it, why? how come thoughts of food of how im gonna handle eating wont leave me alone? HOW COME when it COMES time to EAT... i dont say im not. why not? because i dont want to raise suspicion of what truely goes on. this is my dirty little secret.
im starting to feel tired. even though im dreading dinner, it'll slide down my throat and sit like a rock in my stomach. I eat so people dont wonder why i dont, wonder why i eat so little, wonder why i never smile or look so sad ALL OF THE TIME.
so here i go, dreading another dinner but will eat, not for me, but for everybody and everything else. maybe for God, but i dont know about that now.
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