I have to hurry and write this. my David doesnt know whats been going on with me. 

i dont want to tell him because i know i can do it without it taking my life.

i dont want to hurt him i dont want to lose the only control i have over myself.

the last 2 weeks i have consumed maybe 2500 cals. but my weight is still on 154.2

its fucking killing me. i know why it wont go down. i am barley eating 1-300 cals a day.

today i am going to die... i have only had 150 cal cereal bar and we are going to mcdonalds.

i dont want to eat over 1k cals. i dont even want more then 400. 

its depressing. watching all the fat girls get skinny by the same means i am.

its sad at the same time.

I  take anti depressants now

i still cut.

dont drink as much any more

i have my GED

a wonderful life with two beautiful kitties

and the most amazing man in my life

but i am not 100 percent happy 

im fucking FAT AGAIN

~~

One day of starvation

away from perfection

SAY HI TO OBLIVION

dont forget ana and mia < 3

my bestfriends

but natural enemies.

I Love You.

~Nine Dieing Souls