you know something, i havent told everything. i probably ever wont, simply because posting my life online, wether any one reads it or not, isnt all that...reasuring. people read it but never respond. all this blog makes me feel like is im alone, with lots of thoughts, words and poeple, that are silent. loud every where else but not here, not with me.
im drunk... feels damned good too.... if your an alcoholic, get help please dont be like me and try to control it. you seek deeper into depression, it gets suicidal and every day tasks seems more.. useless as does your very exsistance. i dont know if you'd call me that. i do control my drinking. i usually have one every other day, or once every 3 days. but to be honest, i cant go without a week without atleast one shot. i dont know, dont want to offend any body. even now, i have a hard time remembering when i drink and it usually gives me a bit of gut rot. i pee more then any one does when they drink, its unbelievable.
new years was really really REALLY crappy. i ended up losing 2 pounds (153 to 151) walked a little today. i really really really hate the winter ! not sure if i ate even 1200 colories, or more, but the sweater that was a bit tight a little more looser.. makes me happy ^_^ i dont count colories. if i started, i'd get extremely obsessed. im getting bad enough, thinking about weighing myself every time i eat something, even just a cracker or piece of cheese. if i 'feel' fat i will weigh myself. my boobs were a bit bigger, the 1200 colorie thing is working ^^ i usually eat small things through out the day. though i hate it, not even hungry but my stomach hurts, i eat a little, whenever it hurts.
No comments:
Post a Comment