10:46pm, no privacy

todays food item list : no breakfast .. 5 crackers for lunch (60 cal) and dinner two of those special k bars (90 cal each = 180 cal // 180 + 60 = 240) was gonna keep it to the 60 cals, and believe it or not my stomach didnt hurt. but if my boyfriend thinks something is wrong, he'll think and think .. i know how he is. he'll observe before he says anything.. so he knows that i know there is no wiggling out of it.. tbh, i dont WANT to decieve him and i fibbed tonight "whatd you have for dinner.." "some crackers and chips.." he remarked "uh huh junk" i told him wasnt that hungry. what else was i gonna say?; "oh i didnt. ehem trying to starve here" *points to fatty stomach* he wouldnt allow it. and its not funny. and this is why i dont count calories: it gives me more to think about then what keeps me up at night. i cant concentrate my mind is on numbers the scale, when to eat next how long will it be will they notice? there will be no getting away with skipping out tommarow; mike is making corned beef and cabbage (atleast hes ok with me eating very little then again i dont eat in front of them and i get my plate after everyone else) soo 1oz meat 1 small potato with two small sliced cut carrots, sounds good. all though im not able to fast for more then 24 hours, it does work. once again, im down below my 140 mark, though i dont know how im going to get it under until i walk, which bothers me really bad.