soooo.. i've been reading soo much about 'ana' and 'mia' one site even claimed that it does not promite it but it is in fact a pro ana mia site. they wouldnt bother me so bad if it werent so triggering.
i find most anas or mias weigh themselves maybe twice a day. i weigh myself in atleast 5 times a day, sometimes more. Ironic that no one notices that, but if i didnt eat for a day, or skipped dinner, everyone would start being worried ect.
~~~
did i have a choice? or was 'ana' lurking there all this time? just waiting for me to listen. waiting to pull me in to her thiness, to her beautiful beautiful thiness. i see all these girls, even at 10 years old that are 5 x smaller then me, here i am, 21 years old, have been close to obese (almost 200 ibs) down to 135, but i shot back up to 160 but now im down to 137 :D I see all these sites and i want Ana to guide me so bad. but when i look at my family my animals and my boyfriend, i dont think i could go to 120, my GW. i might just do that though. seventeen pounds to go... ana screams at me when i eat. then i binge, i feel like... soooo bad after and ana says im so undeserving of food.. which i am. im so fat i feel like purging after, but i have no goddamned privacy. im sure if it werent for my absolutely no privacy i'd probably be dead.
WAS 2009: 174
DECEMBER 24th 2010: 151
CW JANUARY 9th2011: 137
GW: 120
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