GODDAMN IT!

i was up half the night, freaking out.. that i gained 3 pounds last weekend. now it just dont wanna come off. i wasnt gonna eat; i didnt have to but i've been up since 8 AM ... bad exsuse huh? 120 to 123! mother FUCKER! then.. i ate like a whole cup of fucking noodles. i told mike i ate too much and might not wanna eat. i might just tell him im FULL. i need my 24 hours. i NEED it. we ARE back to no eating durrin the night but durrin the day i eat cuz dad does.. i kinda do it to make it look good. i dont want any one to know... i will.. I FUCKING WILL get to my 115!